Oct 15, 2020 7:00 AM

Ring Ring! Our Favorite Landline Phones Are Calling

Smartphones have made our lives easier, but let’s face it: Telephones used to be so much cooler.

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My childhood dream was to be a grocery store cashier. I loved the beep of the price scanner and the click of the keys on the register that I imagined felt satisfying to press. I still find comfort in certain sounds and touches, as I did as a kid. So it makes sense that I've had an obsession with landline telephones brewing in me for as long as I can remember.

Before modern cell phones went full touchscreen, phones were unique, with tactile buttons that had clicks and dings, smooth plastic bodies that felt good against your ear, and curly cords you could fiddle with while talking on a particularly long phone call.

I feel very lucky to have grown up when I did, because I got to experience life before and after every house had multiple computers and cell phones. I grew up with long, late-night phone calls; I've cried to girlfriends from under my blankets, phone to my ear; I flirted with boys and argued with friends until my parents told me I had to hang up. I even used to call my grandmother disguised as my alter ego Alice for occasional chats. (I was a weird kid, OK?)

With the introduction of cell phones, I went from talking on the phone for hours to dreading actual phone conversations. The smartphone has made life dramatically easier, but I miss the feel of a good old-fashioned landline in my hand. These examples below are some of my favorites.

Photograph: Laurnash/Depop
I Feel Seen
Clear Corded Phone
For a while in the late 1990s, you could find almost any consumer product in a see-through version—Game Boys, cameras, the 1998 iMac. (Need I mention clear blow-up furniture?) But none define an era quite like Conair's clear telephone.
This phone—did you know the original was made by the hair-care brand?—is a perfect embodiment of the time. It's plastic and chunky, and it pulled back the curtain on its internal workings by showing off its brightly colored wires and circuits. In the opening episode of Pen15's second season, set in the early 2000s, the main character is talking on this beauty; it's also featured in Netflix's reboot of The Baby-Sitter's Club, which is set in the modern day. The clear phone's hold on popular culture has been eternal.
I occasionally look up vintage models for sale and debate whether I should spend anywhere between $40 and $200 for a phone I'll probably never use to make actual phone calls, but then I finally close the tab and go back to dreamland.
$175 at Etsy
Photograph: Getty Images
One Good Turn
Rotary Phones
Using a rotary phone is a lesson in intent. You don't mindlessly dial numbers on rotary phones, you endure a full sensory experience. These phones are usually big and heavy and feel quite good to hold, and they stand in contrast to the cheap cordless phones or office landlines that you might be more familiar with. The motion, the feel, and sound of the dial is unlike any other phone you'll try.
Rotary phones were replaced by push-button telephones that were easier and quicker to use, but you might still find rotary phones—particularly the wall-mounted version—in the basements of older homes. And if you're preparing for an apocalypse, you might want to install one of these bad boys, as they'll continue to work even if you lose power.
There are modern rotary-inspired push-button phones you can buy too. Though if you're connecting a physical phone to a landline, even as just a decoration piece, I would spring for an original.
$50 at Bold Old Phones

Photograph: United Archives/Alamy
Scream-Worthy
Block Cordless Phone
The first few minutes of the 1996 slasher send-up Scream makes up one of the most iconic movie scenes ever. (This is not open to discussion). The whole thing is genius: Drew Barrymore's Casey is home alone, getting ready to watch a scary movie, when a stranger calls. There's no caller ID, of course, and it turns out the creepy call is coming from inside the house—or at least, right outside the house. Throughout the flick, the phone is a character itself. Every time a phone rings, the story progresses. But the most iconic phone in the movie is the white block cordless that Casey uses in the opening scene.
It's like a plastic-coated brick with a long white antenna jutting out of the top; it's big enough to beat someone with, and she does at least try that. Casey hangs on to the phone the entire time she's running from the killer, as a kind of security blanket—her connection to help. And it brings the story together when her parents finally arrive home and, through a different phone, they hear Casey's muffled breathing from the cordless she's still grasping.
This phone design was popular for the time, similar to this old Sony. No matter the make, it's clear that no dinky cell phone would have survived what Casey put this handset through.
Photograph: Edgar DeCosta/Etsy
First Kiss
Red Lips Phone
My childhood babysitter—a cigarette-smoking cool girl—had the ultimate symbol of teenage independence: her own phone line in her bedroom and a phone shaped like big red lips.
In the heyday of phone popularity, you could get one shaped like nearly anything—Garfield, a hamburger (notably used by the title character in Juno), or a duck like in Jersey Shore. Yes, it quacked.
Just as your poster-adorning walls were an extension of your aesthetic, phones like these allowed you to further express yourself. I like to think that lip phones walked so that early cell phones—which could be housed in Britney Spears cases decked out in charms—could run.
$19 at Amazon
Buy at Etsy

Photograph: Blue Moon Antiques24/Etsy
Wall Flower
Trimline Corded Phone
Picture this: You're a teenager trying to have a private phone call, but your family's corded phone was attached to the wall in a common area. You'd duck into another room, extending that curly cord to its limits. Sure, that doesn't seem that special now that we can take our phones wherever we want, but it was, at one time, part of growing up. Nostalgia doesn't always make sense.
Of all the phones mentioned, this corded phone might seem the least interesting. But models like this were in nearly every house for a while, probably hanging in the kitchen. Bonus points if yours had a rotary dial.
You might be noticing a theme here, but there's something about the analog experience—especially the ability to end a conversation by firmly hanging up—that can't be replicated by a cell phone. Although I prefer the mid-century handsets like those on most rotary phones, which are heavy and thinner in the middle, the feel and shape of this handset is very '90s. Plus these phones often came in interesting colors like sage and dusty rose.
$15 at Walmart
$21 at Etsy
Photograph: Tony Cenicola/The New York Times/Redux
Fresh Twist
Sidekick Cell Phone
The cell phone's evolution was quick, and filled with interesting and unique signposts. The Motorola DynaTAC 8000X—think Zach Morris—was released to the public in 1983. It cost $3,500. Then came flip phones, indestructible Nokias, and BlackBerries with slide-up keyboards. But the reigning champ of mobiles within youth culture was the Sidekick.
The Sidekick's keyboard didn't slide up. The screen swiveled 180 degrees and locked into position with a springy click, exposing the keypad beneath. You could get on AIM ... from your cell phone! As Complex expertly outlined in 2015, the Sidekick was promoted by celebrities and heavily appealed to teenagers, so it quickly became the epitome of coolness. I've already mentioned phones being a symbol of cool—and if you were wondering, my first cell phone was a TracFone that looked like an oversized pink Jelly Bean and ate through its expensive minutes. I was not a cool clear-phone girl or a Sidekick kid. But I am an adult who writes about these devices as my actual job, so maybe I win.

Photograph: Isis Pearl Vintage/Etsy
Make Believe
Toy Phones
Phones are so intertwined with human behavior that countless toy phones exist for those who are too young for the real thing.
I had many fake phones, including the Barbie Super Talking Phone With Answering Machine that came with cassette tapes with recorded messages. Just like real phones allowed me to connect with friends and grow as a person, each toy phone represented a different stage in my life. One Christmas, I thought a purple Barbie cell phone I found under the tree was a real cell phone, and I ran through my house screaming with the plastic brick still in its impenetrable packaging. My mom had to tell me it was merely a toy, though the sadness only lasted a minute. Real or fake, Barbie has been a friend of mine through all facets of my life.
The coolest toy phone I had? Well, it was two phones connected by a long wire. They could be placed in different rooms so two people could use the handsets to talk to each other, like a set of walkie-talkies. You can still buy a similar version.
Photograph: VTech
Modern Throwbacks
Retro Inspired Accessories
While writing this story occasionally made me want to trade in my iPhone for something with more personality, I won't actually be doing that anytime soon. But it's clear that I'm not the only one with a yearning for the good old days.
You can buy smartphone cases that look like old school bricks, Baby Phat flip phones, Nokias, and even a classic toy phone. The unconventional fashion brand Moschino made a '90s-inspired big pink phone case. If you're more of a fan of the big red lips novelty phone, there's a case for that too.
In the early iPhone days, corded phone handsets that connected to the phone's headphone jack were everywhere; VTech even makes a shiny version that looks exactly like an original. There are also docks that give you a handset you can physically hang up, a way to end a call that's so much more satisfying than tapping on a touchscreen. If you want to try one of these but your phone is missing a headphone jack, you can probably use an adapter. Success or failure will depend on your model of mobile phone.

Medea Giordano turned her shopping problem into a career as a product writer for WIRED. She covers a little bit of everything but loves health, beauty, and pet tech. Prior to WIRED, she was an assistant editor at Wirecutter and an assistant in the newsroom of The New York Times.... Read more

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TopicsShopping phones retro