NY-19: Oh, groan. Actress Diane Neal, best known for her recurring role on "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," has kicked off an independent bid in New York's 19th Congressional District, a move that could only hurt Democrats seeking to pick up this vulnerable seat. Neal describes herself as "a little Libertarian," "a lot liberal," and "mostly progressive," but her overall pitch as a candidate is just the pits.
In an interview with the Daily Freeman, Neal bragged that she once stuck a chopstick in Donald Trump's hair on the set of "The Apprentice" (where she was a judge) to see if it was real. Then she explained that after listening to a debate among the Democrats running to unseat freshman GOP Rep. John Faso, she decided, "I didn’t hear was how any of them would appeal to anyone outside of this room, [such as] my cross-bow neighbor who gives me sweet venison." Ah, yes, crossbow dude is definitely gonna listen to the TV star who talks about clowning on Trump! (Incidentally, one Democrat in the race, Pat Ryan, is an Iraq vet and West Point graduate, so he probably knows a thing or two about weaponry.)
Neal concluded by boasting, "I have this amazing ability to be able to take really complicated policy and break it down into edible sound bites, which is something most progressive liberals cannot do." Sure she does, like how she just celebsplained venison to us. Fortunately, she still has to gather 3,500 signatures to get on the ballot, a task she hopefully does not have an amazing ability at completing.